we won't come home until we kissed a girl

now that i am celibate, i need new and exciting things to take up my time. or at least to hang with my friends who are able to bitch, moan, and/or fart in harmony with my own emotional diarrhea. anyway, this is somewhere i go as often as it's updated and i thought some of you would enjoy it's existence. (specifically amanda, charlie, and scott. yes.)
http://www.avclub.com/content/hater
and of course, i care about all y'all, so this remains recommended to anyone who is of the persuasion and is persuaded.
(and of course i still say "y'all" in honor of amanda: royalties are coming, honey.)
i wanna kiss all of you, my friends.
and i mean lips and all. even your vagina, if you have one.

okay.

alright, so there's this thing called amazing sex. and, praise-jesus, isn't it nice? yes, yes it is. i am planning on getting some more tonight, and if anyone wants to watch some electric-loving, it's only fifty bucks a pop. damn-well worth it too. if you wanna see heaven and her older sister, parasdise, have a family reunion, then get ready to touch your toes and you might wanna bring a flashlight.
"love is in the air!" they say.
"actually, the stench of jeremy's rotting corpse is in the air."
so sorry, that's just bad house-keeping.
"yes, but thank christ i made some barbequed salmon with home-grown potatoes, which were sauteed in a balsamic vinaigrette, and then forced into a lover's quadrangle of pure milk, unsalted butter, sharp-to-mild cheddar, and the clove-bits of garlic. a side of broccoli liberally infused with a merlot (preferably prior to '82) and fried with an avocado (preferably prior to tomorrow) completes the package."
is there anything better?
who can say?
fuck me.