can you get me higher?

scott stapp has an album being released soon. and, for some reason... i take issue. this wannabe-evanagelical-bono is obviously of the impression that he's really cool. and not only cool, but sexually attractive in a non-threatening yet masculine, masculine yet sensitive, sensitive but republican, republican yet arms-wide-open kinda way. and besides, he wears wife-beaters and leather pants. he's a man's man. a genteel bloke among folk.
what is it that makes me want to run him over? probably the self-importance. yes, he's religious. everyday he's thanking god he was able to grant this earth with his sweaty presence and raspy, yet melodramatic vocals. but everyday, i find myself thanking the founding forefathers for the right to change the station to find some humble mumble.
but why not have a scott stapp album? hilary duff has a greatest hits album, for the love of god. and there's a video of "when mary magdalene went wild." why not? on the bonus DVD, him and pop group rockapella take turns deflowering an inner-city boys choir. just listen to those high-C's.
anyway, my point is this: scott stapp rhymes with bitch-slap for a reason. and his head looks like an excellent landing strip for canned food.
some people just look better than others when they're stuck under my tires.