Wednesday, January 04, 2006

my apologies.

i hate phones. they are just little machines that represent everything i dread: interaction. communication. the possibility of conflict. self-disclosure. honesty.
in the past twenty-four hour span, i have been chastised for my phone etiquette five times. each time by a different individual. and not just loser assholes that i don't want to talk to. they're almost decent people that have things to say that i'm semi-interested in hearing. and more than one of them brought up the word "intervention."
i don't like talking on the phone. i'm not good at it. if i can't see your face, then you're just droning into my ear. i wanna look at you when you speak. really, i do. i like you all so much more when i'm looking at you. that's why sometimes when people speak to me, i say "hold on, i can't hear you, i don't have my glasses on." then i walk out of the room and hide under the nearest bed i can find.
to everyone whom i don't call or don't call back: it isn't personal. i ignore each and every phonecall equally. when my phone rings, if i don't see the conversation being under three minutes, i'm not interested. when i call someone, it's "hey whats up what are you doing want me to pick you up okay see you in a little bit." that's all i want. that's all i need. if the phone can take pictures and record video, all the better.
the thing i like most about my phone is that it matches my car.
my point is this, dear readers: my therapist and i will analyze the fuck out of my phone-phobia and before you know it, you'll be avoiding my phonecalls because i can't shut the hell up. just you wait.

6 Comments:

Blogger Dustin Harder said...

Must be a really good therapist. I think people should just get used to it and love you with the phone phobia and just track you down at home or work.hahaha. If they do that you are bound to start using the phone in no time, dont you think?

7:24 AM  
Blogger equippedtofascinate said...

I feel the same way about phones and refuse to use them as much as I can. I hate having a conversation with someone when we're going to be going out together in an hour. I don't want to waste all my stories before I see them. Text messaging is great for making plans, if you don't mind looking like an ass. At least you don't get stuck in a conversation, and it takes the other person so long to write back, that they just get straight to the point. Brilliant.

7:52 AM  
Blogger equippedtofascinate said...

P.S. Do you have a blogging phobia as well? Is that why you don't update ever?

7:52 AM  
Blogger Chargenda said...

I am cell phone obsessed on the other hand. I have had to cut back my calls significantly cuz of high cell phone bills.

2:39 PM  
Blogger amanda said...

Five bucks says Paul doesn't initiate a phone call to anyone in the next six weeks.
Who's in?

1:55 PM  
Blogger equippedtofascinate said...

I'm in, and I double that bet.

7:39 PM  

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